


We'll Get There

by bluemadridista



Category: Football RPF
Genre: Angst, Babies, Christmas, Established Relationship, Fluff, Love, M/M, Same-Sex Marriage, Universe Alteration
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-07
Updated: 2014-03-07
Packaged: 2018-01-14 21:45:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,360
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1279942
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluemadridista/pseuds/bluemadridista
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>While Cesc is building the perfect life and marriage with Pique, Iker is struggling to maintain even a semblance of a relationship with Xavi.</p>
            </blockquote>





	We'll Get There

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Cescky](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cescky/gifts).



> DISCLAIMER: I own nothing, but the idea.

The tiny colored lights on the large Christmas tree danced in Lia’s big black eyes as she toddled toward Cesc. “Come on, mija! You can do it!” Little Lia’s task was to walk less than a meter to Cesc, but it was still a bit much to ask for a beginning walker. She made it halfway before she started to wobble, and eventually plopped onto the thick carpet on her heavily padded diaper. Cesc knew by now to make a fall seem like some sort of amusement park ride. “Whoo!” he shouted, throwing his hands into the air. If he acted like it was a big, scary deal to fall on her butt then Lia would wail and cry. This way she only giggled and waved her arms around.

Cesc crawled across the carpet and tipped her back onto the blanket he had spread out just a few centimeters from where she had tumbled down. He tickled her sides until she cackled and grabbed at his hands. “We’re gonna get you walking like a pro by Christmas, aren’t we?” Cesc picked her up, and kissed her face – both cheeks first, her nose, and finally her forehead. “That can be Daddy Geri’s present, huh?” Lia squealed and cooed at the sound of her second daddy’s name. “Yeah. You miss Papa, huh? He’ll be home soon. He had to big up your hermano at the airport.”

When Shakira had gotten pregnant with Gerard’s little Milan, it had been a shock to both of them. Their relationship had nearly reached the boiling point. They were counting the days before one of them finally said what was obvious: it was over, and Gerard needed to be with Cesc. Cesc was at the same point with Daniela. Pregnancy changes everything. Gerard might not have been totally happy with Shakira, or more to the point without Cesc, but he would never abandon the woman carrying his child. She was fully capable of taking care of herself, of course, but he stayed by her side nevertheless.

Three months after Shakira discovered her pregnancy, Daniela announced her own, and there was another pregnancy to complicate things. As soon as Lia was born, things seemed less complicated. Cesc was forever bound to the little girl who had won his heart with the first heartbeat, first sonogram picture, but he was no longer bound to her mother. He now shared sole custody with Gerard and partial custody of Milan while Daneila had visitation rights, and Shakira kept Milan for a month at a time before turning him over for a month. It wasn’t ideal, but it was the best they could do.

Lia and Cesc were playing with a super entertaining pink bunny when they heard a knock at the door. Cesc dropped Mr. Bunny on the floor. Yes, “Mr.” “It’s a girl, Cesc,” Gerard had argued when they bought it for Lia to which Cesc replied, “Only a gay man could pull off this shade of pink.” Gerard had nothing for that, but some rolling eyes, a huff, and walking away. Cesc won, as usual. These things happened quite often between the two of them, because well, would you expect anything else from these two?

“I wonder who that is,” Cesc said, looking down at Lia. “Who do you think it is?” he asked, because the eight-month-old baby would have a better idea that he did. In the kitchen, their three-month-old Golden Retriever puppy, Ponque, started yipping. She was blocked from leaving the kitchen by a baby gate.  “It’s okay, Ponque!” Cesc called out, but she kept up with the barking. “Maybe it’s Papa and he forgot his key!” Cesc stood and scooped his daughter up into his arms. He carried her to the door, and checked the peephole before he opened it. “What the…?” He yanked open the door, and a smile spread over his face. “Iker! What are you doing here?”

Iker smiled. He was bundled against the cold evening air in a blue scarf, a black wool coat, and black leather driving gloves. He held two large gift bags in one hand, and a small package in the other. “I had some time off, and thought I would come see you. You going to leave me, and your little one to freeze in this cold, or you going to let me in?”

“Oh, yeah, yeah. Come on in!” Cesc quickly backed away from the door, and let Iker inside. He shut the door behind him, and locked it. Ponque was carrying on even louder now. Cesc shouted to her once more, and apologized toIker. “It’s good to see you! It’s been too long. Even Ponque thinks so…” Iker had met Ponque once when she was still a tiny pup.

“It’s been two months.”

“Whatever. What did you bring me?” Cesc was worse than a child. He stepped forward and tried to peek into the bags.

Iker batted him away. “Those are for your kids and Ponque! Knock it off, you child! This is for you.” He handed over the small package.

Cesc took it quickly. “Here, take her, so I can open it.” He shoved Lia into Iker’s free arm, because presents are more important than babies when you are Cesc… apparently.

Iker fumbled the bags, and eventually dropped them to get a good hold on Lia – a better hold than he father had on her (ever). “Your daddy isn’t very smart, Lia,” Iker whispered.

“I heard that, Casillas! Don’t fill her head with garbage.”

“Oh, I wouldn’t dream of it. She’s going to have a hard enough time with you for a dad,” Iker joked.

Cesc ripped the wrapping of his package, but then stopped and looked up at Iker. His eyes were serious. “I’m a good dad, Iker.”

Iker’s grin fell into a soft, sincere smile. “I know you are, Cesito. I was joking. She’s a beautiful baby too.”

“I know,” Cesc said, kissing his daughter’s head before going back to his gift. He opened the small box to find a small tin with a Christmas scene on the lid. “Biscuits?” he guessed.

Iker shook his head, and picked up the bags. He walked through the foyer, and into the living room. He stopped at the doorway that led to the kitchen and patted Ponque’s head. He pulled a bone he had brought for her out of his pocket, and handed it over to her. She ran immediately to her bed in the corner of the kitchen, and laid down to devour the beefy treat. Cesc followed him. “Chocolates?” he asked.

Iker shook his head, and placed the bags near the tree. It was already overloaded with packages and bags, and he didn’t want to disturb them by placing his too close. “Just open it already, Cesc.”

Cesc popped the lid off the tin, and squealed. “Donut bites!”

“What else?” Iker asked with a laugh.

“You know this is why I love you, Iker. You really get me.” Cesc pretended to cry dramatically, and threw an arm around Iker from the side. He rested his head on his shoulder, and prattled on in a fake sob about how no one ever knew him like Iker. He only stopped when Lia grabbed a hold of his hair and gave it a good yank.

Iker laughed hysterically. “Good job, girl. Finally, there’s something that will get him to shut his mouth.”

“Get her hand out of my hair, Iker!” Cesc growled.

Iker did as he was told and kissed the baby on her forehead. “That’s a good girl.”

“Don’t tell her that! I’ll give her your hair to pull on, see how you like it.”

“Oh, shut up, and eat your donuts, Cesc.”

Iker played with Lia on the floor with Mr. Bunny who he mistook for a girl, and got the wrath of Cesc for it. “Your daddy is crazy,” he whispered to Lia.

“Stop talking to her like that!” Cesc’s scolding command would have been more effective had he not given it with his mouth full of donut.

“Be quiet while you’re eating,” Iker said. “Can she walk yet?”

Cesc glared at him, and gulped down the last bit of his first donut. “You tell me be quiet and then you ask me a question. Which one of us is stupid?”

“Well, I thought you were intelligent enough to finish your food, and then answer, Fabregas.”

“Don’t call me Fabregas, Casillas!”

“I like you better when your mouth is so full you can’t speak. Eat up.”

Cesc laughed. “Stop it. You know you like me always.” Iker nodded, because he couldn’t even begin to argue with that. He always had liked Cesc from day one. It was impossible not to. He found rather quickly that it was also impossible not to fall in love with him. He had finally learned to let that one go however. “She can walk a little, but not very far.”

“Let’s see what you can do, Lia.” Iker picked her up, and scooted back with her. “Walk to your daddy.”

“Papi. I’m Papi.”

“Walk to Papi, baby girl…” Iker set her loose and Lia just stood there for a minute.

“Come on,” Cesc urged while he nibbled at his second donut. Lia toddled toward him, and Iker followed on all fours. When she started to stumble, he helped her stay upright, and she made it all the way to Cesc. Cesc actually dropped the donut to grab her and dance around with her. “Good job, mija! Muy bien!” He kissed her face all over and told her how much he loved her. Lia wasn’t sure what all the fanfare was for, but she giggled and cooed just the same.

“You’re really lucky,” Iker said softly.

“I know I really am.”

“You really, really are. She’s amazing, and… you seem so happy.”

Cesc set Lia down in front of him, and handed her a small teddy bear which she promptly crammed into her mouth. Teddy’s ear was done for. “I am happy, Iker. Thank you.”

Iker nodded.  “How are the donuts?”

“Delicious. Take one.”

“I bought them for you.”

“Nonsense. Eat one…” Cesc watched as Iker plucked one of the round donuts out of the tin, and took a bite. “How are you, Iker? Are you happy?”

Iker munched at the donut until it was gone. Then he finally replied, “Not really.”

“I’m sorry about Real Madrid, and how things have been going.”

“It’s not only that. It’s a lot that. I hate sitting on the bench helpless. But… I’m just lonely. I’m thirty-two, Cesc. I should have a little one toddling around my house. I should have a big Christmas tree with tons of presents under it, and a perfect man coming home to me. Where is yours by the way?”

“Did you really just refer to Gerard as perfect?” Iker smacked his leg. “Okay, okay. He’s at the airport picking up Milan.”

“Right. You’ve got two little ones, huh?” Iker stared at the way Lia’s little fingers gripped the sides of her bear’s head, so she could keep its ear jammed into her slobbering mouth. Her fingers were so tiny and delicate, beautiful.

“This could have been us, you know?” Cesc said suddenly, causing Iker’s head to jerk up.

“What?”

“We could have had all this.”

Iker shook his head. “Did I ever even really have you, Cesc? No… Gerard is your soul mate. You were always meant to be. It was only a matter of when.”

Cesc stayed quiet for several minutes. He traced his fingertips over Lia’s beautiful black hair. “I loved you though.”

“I know you did. I never doubted that. I loved you too. We just… weren’t meant to be.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. Don’t ever be sorry for that. You’re where you should be, Cesc. You’ve got such a perfect family. I couldn’t be happier for you, and I mean that. I truly do.”

“Thank you, Iker. That means so much to me. I wish… I wish things were better for you. I wish you had everything you wanted.” Cesc brought his hand to Iker’s cheek and caressed it gently.

“I don’t want much… Do I? Is it too much to ask for him to want to be with me, to want to have all of this with me? To not be contemplating – planning – marriage to someone else? Is it too much to ask?”

Cesc immediately knew which “he” Iker was referring to: Xavi. In the same way that Gerard had always been his soul mate, Xavi had been Iker’s, but things had always been so complicated for them. Sure, he and Gerard had their fair share of complications, and still did. But poor Iker went through hell with Xavi. It wasn’t really Xavi’s fault, or Iker’s for that matter. It was just… circumstances.

“I’m sorry, Iker. I wish things were easier for you two. You both deserve to be happy. I know he’s not really happy with her.”

“I know that too, and that makes it worse. If he was truly happy with her, I could let him go, and be happy for him. I let David go, because he was happier with Victoria and the US. I let you go, because you’re better off with Gerard. Sergio is better with Jesus… I’m always giving everyone up to be with their soul mate. Where’s my soul mate? Huh? Why can’t I get to finally be with my soul mate?”

As if she could feel Iker’s sadness emanating from him, Lia started to cry. She dropped her bear to the floor, and wailed. Iker apologized. “I think I upset her.”

“No. She probably just needs a change, and a bottle. I’ll change her. Would you mind going to the kitchen and heating one of the bottles from the refrigerator? The bottle warmer is on the counter. Just lock the gate back, so Ponque won’t leave. We had a problem with her eating pieces of the tree and a few unfortunate gifts…”

Iker laughed at the latter, and nodded to the former even though he felt awkward doing things like that for Cesc in the house he shared with his soon-to-be husband. Gerard tolerated Iker when he had to, but it was no secret that he wasn’t Iker’s biggest fan. He had always felt like Iker took Cesc from him. And even though he “gave him back,” Gerard still preferred he didn’t hang around. He was sure he’d be mortified to know he’d spent the evening warming bottles for his daughter. Regardless of that fact, he couldn’t refuse to help Cesc, so there he was in the kitchen warming a bottle with pink balloons on it and staring at the family photos hanging on the refrigerator. There were some with just Cesc and Lia, some just Gerard and Milan. The best ones were the ones where they were all together. They made such a beautiful family. It brought a smile to Iker’s face, and an ache to his heart. He needed something to cheer him up a bit. He started to go and pet Ponque who was still too wrapped up with her tasty treat to even acknowledge his presence, but then Cesc showed up.

“Is it ready?” Cesc asked. He walked in with Lia in his arms. Well, sort of under one arm and on his hip.

“Cesc, is it okay to carry that child that way?”Iker asked, taking the bottle from the warmer.

“Don’t judge me. She’s fine,” Cesc said with a laugh. “Aren’t you mija?” Lia cooed. “See? She’s fine.”

Iker shook his head. “Here’s her bottle.”

“You wanna feed her?”

“Huh? Oh, um… I don’t know. I don’t think I should.”

“Why not?”

“I don’t think Gerard would be very happy about that.”

Cesc frowned. “Iker… he wouldn’t mind, and well even if he did it doesn’t matter. He’s not here right now. She seems to really like you.”

Iker took Lia – more to rescue the baby from the way Cesc was holding her than anything else. Lia clung to Iker’s neck and rested her head on his shoulder. “Would you like your bottle?” he asked her. Cesc smiled.

“Take her to the living room. I’ll bring us something to drink. Do you want anything particular?”

Iker could use a good stiff drink, but he didn’t want to drink in front of the baby, so he said, “Whatever you’re having is fine.”

When Cesc walked into the living room carrying two mugs shaped like snowmen filled with hot cocoa, topped with an exorbitant amount of whipped topping, Iker regretted his words. “Are you looking to go into a sugar coma?”

“Iker! It’s the holidays! Don’t be a Scrooge. It’s yummy.”

“Lia, I wonder how much older your daddy’s brain is than yours. He acts about five.”

“Iker! If you don’t stop filling my daughter’s head with nonsense, I’m going to tell Geri!”

“And what is he going to do?” Iker retorted.

Cesc was about to reply, but stopped short when he heard the front door slam. “You’re in for it now,” he teased Iker.

“Cesc, don’t! Here, take your baby. I don’t want to start any problems.”

“It’s okay, Iker. Don’t worry about it,” Cesc whispered.

“Cescky! Where are you, baby?” Gerard called out.

Milan quickly added, “Papiii Cessy!”

Iker watched as Cesc’s face transformed from sympathetic toward Iker to glowing and overjoyed at the return of his family. Iker smiled a little sadly. “You want to take the baby to greet him?” he asked. “She stopped suckling when she heard Gerard’s voice anyway.”

Cesc nodded and bent to take Lia from him. He held her in a proper position and hurried for the door. Iker placed the bottle on the coffee table, and stood. As soon as he could, he was making a break for it. Ponque was barking at the gate, and he went to pet her. That silenced her only for a bit, and he left her when she started up again. He really need to leave.

“Hey, Geri!” Cesc tipped up on his toes to kiss Gerard on the lips. “I missed you.”

“I missed you too, baby. Whose car is that in the driveway?”

“Huh?” Cesc was genuinely confused. He assumed Iker had taken a cab from the airport. Maybe he drove all the way to Barcelona? Or rented a car? “Oh, I guess that’s Iker’s car.”

“Iker?” Gerard stood a little straighter than before. “Why – uh, what is he doing here?”

“Just came for a visit.” Cesc kissed Milan on the cheek, but the baby seemed more interested in his little sister. He reached out for her, saying her name, and grasping at her arm and hand.

“He came six hours just for a visit?”

“Well, I don’t know what he’s doing in Barcelona, but he stopped by here for a visit. That’s all. Don’t get worked up.”

“Hey, Cesc… Uh…” Iker walked into the foyer. “I need to get going.”

“You don’t have to go, Iker.” Surprisingly, Gerard was the one that spoke up.

“Uh, thanks, Gerard, but I need to go. Thanks for the talk, Cesc. It was great properly meeting your little girl. She’s really beautiful. Good luck with everything you guys. And happy holidays.” Iker quickly stepped around Gerard and rushed out the door before Cesc or Gerard could say anything to him.

“Geri, take her,” Cesc said, thrusting Lia at Gerard. He took her with the arm not holding Milan. “I have to go after him.”

Gerard tried to not be upset, but he was mildly as he watched his fiancé race out of their house after his ex-boyfriend. If he hadn’t had his arms full of babies, he probably would have spied on him out the window. Instead of that, he carried the babies into the living room. He spied the cocoa and the new gifts. It all made him uneasy, but he stayed put with the babies playing on the blanket Cesc had set out, calling out to Ponque when she barked to greet him.

Cesc caught Iker by his rental car. He grabbed him by the arm. “Iker… you shouldn’t go off when you’re still upset.”

“I’m okay, Cesc, and I really overstayed my welcome in your home.”

“No, you didn’t. You can come back in, stay for dinner.”

Iker shook his head, and opened the door to his car. “Go back inside to Gerard and your babies, Cesito. I appreciate you so much. I don’t want to impose on you any longer.”

“You know it’s not like that, and Gerard wouldn’t think that either.”

“Really, Cesito. I’m fine…” Iker hugged Cesc quickly and climbed into his car. “Enjoy your evening.”

Cesc wanted to argue with him, but he knew it wouldn’t do any good. Iker was stubborn. If he wanted to do something, he was going to do it. “You too,” Cesc said before he turned and jogged back to his house.  He shivered when he walked in the door and the warmth collided with his cold body. He rubbed his hands together to try to warm them with friction, so he could love on his babies. When he reached the living room, he found the babies playing together on the floor. Milan handed Lia a large building block which she promptly shoved into her mouth. Gerard sat on the couch watching them and munching on the donuts Iker had brought for Cesc.

“Did Iker bring these?” he asked when Cesc sat on the floor with the babies.

“Yes. They’re my Christmas present. He brought presents for the kids and Ponque too.” Cesc pointed to the bags by the tree.

“I hate him less,” Gerard said simply.

“Geri, stop it. You know I hate it when you talk about him that way.”

“I’m just kidding, Cescky, and you know that.”

“Do you I kid by saying I hate your exes? No. Stop it. He was really upset when he left. If you didn’t act like that maybe he would have stayed. Who knows where he’s going? I hope he’ll be safe.”

Iker considered driving back to Madrid, but it was getting late, and it had started snowing again, so the roads were slick. He decided to find a hotel room. Without thinking, he drove to the hotel that he always met Xavi at when they would have their little “rendezvous.” He sighed. He didn’t really want to be there, but his mind had just gone there as if it were on autopilot. It had been months since he’d met up with Xavi. Xavi had a fiancé now, and appearances to keep or whatever.

Iker parked his rental car in the parking garage and walked into the hotel. Before he could be bothered to check in, the bar drew his attention and he sidled inside. The old bartender greeted him by name not because he was “San Iker,” but because he had seen him many times ordering drinks and curling up in darkest corner with Xavi. The man had never given away their secret, and Iker respected him for that.

“Sandro,” he greeted, sliding onto a barstool. “I’ll just have a beer.” Usually, Iker just had beer, but sometimes Xavi would rope him into some sangria or brandy.

Sandro served him quickly. “Haven’t seen you in a while,” he said, placing the glass in front of him, and waving him off when he tried to pay. “The first one is on me.”

“I’ve been busy in Madrid,” Iker offered though it was much more than that. He hoped Sandro wouldn’t ask about Xavi, and he didn’t. Iker thanked him as he walked away to help another customer.

Iker was on his third beer when Sandro places a brandy in front of him. Iker shook his head. “Oh, no. Not this time, Sandro.”

Sandro said nothing, but pointed behind Iker. Iker turned to look over his shoulder, but say nothing. Sandro grabbed his shoulders and spun him completely around. Finally, Iker saw what he wanted him to see: Xavi seated in the back corner. Xavi’s eyes connected with his and he raised his brandy in the air to greet him.

Iker heaved a sigh and slipped down from his stool. He took his beer and the brandy to the Xavi’s table. “Can I sit?” he asked stupidly.

Xavi laughed. “Why did you think I had Sandro invite you over, so you could stand there all night?”

Iker chuckled, and slid into the booth next to him. “Why did you have Sandro ask like that? You could have just asked me yourself.”

“You were very focused on your phone when I walked in. I didn’t want to disturb you. To be honest, at first I thought my eyes were playing tricks on me. What would my Iker be doing in Catalunya?”

 _My Iker_. Iker’s heart felt like it had a vice squeezing it. “I came to see Cesc,” he lied. He didn’t know why he was really in Barcelona. Subconsciously, he probably wanted to see Xavi. He probably hoped he would run into him, but there was no way he was admitting that to Xavi, or himself.

Xavi frowned into his glass. “Cesc, huh?” he murmured. “I thought he was with Gerard now.”

“He is… I came to visit him, not sleep with him.”

“No, no. Of course.”

“How’s your fiancée?” Iker did not really care how she was, and he did not want to talk about her, but if Xavi was going to ask about Cesc like he was upset Iker hadn’t come to Barcelona for him then he was going to throw his future wife in his face.

“Fiancée? Oh, you haven’t heard? We’re not together anymore.”

Haven’t heard! Haven’t… “Why the hell didn’t you tell me that?” Iker spouted without really thinking about what he was doing.

Xavi’s eyes went even wider than they usually were. “Uh, well… it just happened, and… I don’t know, Iker. We haven’t talked a lot lately.”

“Because you decided to…” Iker cut off before he could say something that might offend Xavi. His eyes were already wide enough.

“Decided to try to be happy…” Xavi said quietly.

Iker immediately felt guilty for being so angry with Xavi. He had never seen it that way. He didn’t want to think Xavi could be happy with someone else, happy enough to let that person become his whole life. “I’m sorry, Xavi. I was too selfish to think of it that way. I just wanted to be the one that got to make you happy, you know?”

“You always did make me happy, Iker. It was just so complicated.” Falling in love with a fellow footballer was always complicated, but falling in love with the captain of your fiercest rival team made things even more problematic.

“I know, but I’m at the point where I’m in love with you, and that’s all that matters to me. I’m useless to my team anyway. I never get played.”

“You could always come to Barcelona,” Xavi joked. He was always joking with Iker. He knew he would never make the move.

“I might be useless to my team, but I still have my self-respect,” Iker countered.

“Ouch…”

“Why don’t you come play with Real Madrid?”

“Okay, okay.” Xavi chuckled. When the soft laughter died out, he gently placed his hand on Iker’s leg under the table. “And you’re not useless. If your team can’t see how amazing you are…”

“It’s not the team’s call,” Iker interjected.

“You know what I mean. That Portuguese bastard mistreated you… You didn’t deserve that.”

Iker shrugged his shoulders. Xavi had always had strong negative opinions about Mourinho. For years, Iker had defended his manager to his small lover, but now he felt a bit differently. “Let’s not talk about it. I came to Barcelona, because I wanted something to make me less sad.”

Xavi’s hand searched around until it found Iker’s. Their fingers laced together, and Xavi squeezed his hand gently. “You know I love you, Iker. I have for so many years,” he whispered.

Iker nodded. He knew, of course he knew, but… he just needed more. He wanted more, wanting something real, something he could have day in and day out, or at least every other week. Sometimes, he didn’t see Xavi for months. How could they live like that?

“Stop thinking so much,” Xavi said, startling Iker out of his thoughts. “I can practically hear the gears turning in your mind. Let’s get out of here. Let’s go home.”

 “Iker, stop it with the jabs. I’m not living in the same place anymore, okay? I let her have the house. I’m in an apartment now.”

“Still not my home; never will be.”

 “Fine. Stay here then, but I’m going to my house.” Xavi stood and left the booth. He always seemed to be frustrated with Iker lately. Their emotions ran so hot when they were together. Simple, mellow moments never lasted long before they were in the throes of intense passion, frustration, and even fury at times.

Iker stood quickly. “Knock it off. You sound like a kid having a tantrum. I’ll come with you. I’m just making a point, you know?”

“It’s not a point that you need to make, you know? I know it’s not your home, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t wish it was, so give me a break.”

Iker opted to silently follow Xavi out rather than argue with him. Xavi showed him to his car, and then drove him to his apartment.  Iker tried to memorize the roads they took, the things they passed. He snarled his nose when one of those things was the Camp Nou. Xavi lived even closer to the stadium than he used to.

“Make yourself at home,” Xavi said when he let Iker into the apartment. “Can I get you a drink? Are you hungry? I could make some food.”

Iker stood with Xavi in the foyer removing their outer layers – coat, hat, and scarf for Iker. He placed them on a hook beside Xavi’s. “No… I, a drink, yes. Food, you don’t have to do that.”

Xavi turned to him, rolling his eyes. “Don’t treat me like I’m just some acquaintance of yours that you don’t want to put out by asking for food.”

“I wasn’t doing that,” Iker argued though he was doing exactly that. “Fine, get your ass in the kitchen and cook.”

“I’m not your waitress. If you want food, get your ass in the kitchen and at least help make it.”

“Waitress,” Iker joshed.

“Waitress, maid, chef, whatever. Get in here.” Xavi led the way to the impressive kitchen.

“Nice,” Iker commented. “How often do you actually cook here?”

“I just moved here a week ago, and I’ve already cooked two meals.”

“You look really proud of yourself.”

“Shut up, and pick something you want to eat.”

“I’d rather kiss that smirk off your face, to be honest.”

“You really think that cheesy crap is going to work. If you smirk and lean in like you think you’re going to kiss me, I will punch you, Casillas. Food. Now.”

Iker laughed. He liked this easy teasing Xavi. It was easy to forget the tension between them, the uneasy state of their (non)relationship. Iker chose some steaks that Xavi had in the fridge, and took out some vegetables to prepare a salad for them. “You prepare the steaks and I’ll make a salad?” Iker looked to Xavi for approval.

“Yes, because my steaks are always better than yours.”

“Oh, yeah, right… like your club is always better than mine.”

“Exactly. I’m glad we understand each other.”

“Hernandez…”

“Yes?” Xavi laughed. “Just give me the steaks, Casillas.”

Thirty minutes later, Iker and Xavi were seated at the small table in his kitchen eating perfectly medium rare steaks and a fresh salad with homemade vinaigrette dressing. Xavi started with his steak while Iker began with the salad. “Cesc ruined you, didn’t he?” Xavi remarked as he watched Iker eat his salad.

“Excuse me?” Iker stopped eating and looked up at him.

“You didn’t eat any of my mushrooms.”

Iker laughed. “Yeah… It’s kind of hard to keep loving something when every time you try to eat it, your boyfriend screams and runs away until you get it out of the house.”

Xavi laughed. “He’s so ridiculous.”

“He’s a good guy though. He’s so happy with his family now too.”

“Yeah. His baby girl is adorable.”

Silence invaded the table for a few minutes then. Iker wanted to agree, because Lia was indeed adorable, but thinking of her brought Cesc’s adorable stupid face to him mind, and that of course brought thoughts of what could have been, and what he might never have with Xavi.

Xavi picked at the food in front of him, watching Iker stewing in his thoughts. When he could take it no longer, he dropped his fork in his plate. Iker jumped and his head jerked up as if he’d been completely lost in another world until the clattering sound transported him back to Earth. “Tell me what you’re thinking,” Xavi pleaded, and Iker knew he didn’t just mean now. He meant now, he wanted to know the thoughts currently racing around his head, but he also mean in general, in the grand scheme of things, of their relationship, their future.

Iker sighed, because that was a tall order. Sometimes the thoughts wouldn’t even arrange themselves correctly in his mind. How could he be expected to line them up neatly to dictate them to Xavi?

Xavi read the sigh as refusal. “We can’t keep avoiding our thoughts and feelings, and shutting each other out. We can’t have a relationship like that.”

“I know, Xavi. It’s just difficult to get all of these things out of my mind. It’s difficult having them in my mind to begin with.”

Xavi frowned and glanced down at his plate. The food looked so good, but he had pretty much lost his appetite. “Try,” he pleaded.

“I’m tired of being alone.” It was the first and strongest thing that came to his mind at that moment.

“Me too,” Xavi agreed selfishly.

“You haven’t been alone! You’ve had a fiancée. I’ve been the one on my own in Madrid, waiting and hoping that you’d come around, come to your senses, or at the very least want something with me on the side. Do you know how that makes me feel? Do you know what I feel like knowing that I’d prefer to be some kind of… whore that you only want on the side than to not have you at all?”

“Iker, you would never be that. Don’t be stupid.”

“Don’t treat me like I’m stupid. Answer me truthfully – what would I be to you if you married her? What have I been all this time that you were with her?”

“It’s not that easy, and you know it. You know I love you. I always have. It’s just… difficult.”

“Really, because you call Cesc and Pique two of the biggest idiots you know, and they’ve figured it out.”

Xavi laughed in spite of himself. “They live in the same city, play for the same club… You and I live hours apart, and play for rival teams. Football fans might be warming up to the idea that their favorite players are falling in love with each other, but a Barcelona supporter would be damned before they see me marry a Madridista.”

“I love my fans, but if they stop supporting me, because I decide to be with the man I love then I don’t think they were ever true supporters anyway.”

Xavi shrugged his shoulders. “It’s not just the public view of us, Iker. It’s… what kind of relationship could we have with you in Madrid and me here?”

Iker’s brow furrowed. “Uh, probably a better one than we had when I was there, and you were here… with a girlfriend.”

“You would really want to be with me, marry me, when we live hours apart?”

“I’ve always wanted to be with you. I want a family with you.”

“And how would we do that? Thinking of us is difficult enough, but add kids to the equation, and it’s insane! How can we divide our child up? The kid would have a hard enough time being adopted by the two of us – two gay guys under constant scrutiny from the public, traveling for work more often than not – but then you add a 600 kilometer distance between them! It would be selfish and irresponsible to even consider it!”

Iker stared down at the floor in shame, because everything Xavi said was true, but he doesn’t want to hear any of it. After a while, he finally spoke. “I could retire.”

“In about ten years.”

“Or now.”

“Shut up.”

Another silence invaded the room. Iker knew better than to try to speak again. Xavi would have none of his retirement idea. It was a stupid one, he had to admit. He may not get to play as much as he wanted to, but he would never abandon his team. Real Madrid was his life.

When Iker heard Xavi let out a long sigh, he hoped it was a precursor to actual speech. A minute later, his hopes were realized. “I’ll be thirty-four next month,” Xavi said quietly. “I can’t play my position as long as you can play yours, we both know that. I’ve got maybe four more years in me, probably less with Barcelona. I could transfer somewhere closer… I’ll retire before you, and then…”

“So, you want me to wait four years for you?”

Xavi’s face twisted like he was in physical pain. “N – no. Of course I can’t ask you to do that.”

“I would do it.” Iker and Xavi looked up at the same time, and met each other’s eyes across the table. “I would wait for you if I knew I was the one you wanted, if I had some assurance, if we could have what we have, but only us, if…”

“Yes.” Xavi was suddenly on his feet. Iker wasn’t sure why, but the action drew him to his feet as well. Xavi crossed the small space between them and grabbed him, kissing his lips. Iker’s hands flew up to the back of his head, his blunt nails scratching through his short hair.

They kissed – hard and sloppy for a full minute before Xavi pulled back to take a breath. “We… can’t be selfish enough to bring a kid into this, Iker…” He stopped, breathing heavily. “I’m sorry.”

Iker swiped the back of his hand over his mouth. “I know that. I really know that. I just want a family so badly.”

Xavi grabbed his face, and kissed him again – softer and slowly this time. “I’m sorry. I know you do, but… we can’t, not yet.”

*One Year Later*

“Only Cesc would want to get married when there’s snow on the ground,” Xavi muttered to Iker who waited patiently outside the room where Cesc was finishing up with his tux. “He’s such an idiot.”

“He is not! This is so romantic!” Cesc’s sister, Carlota, walked up behind the couple with Lia in her arms, and Milan holding tight to her right hand. He was twenty-three months while his little sister was just twenty. Both could walk, but Lia preferred to be held by her aunt who had spoiled her (in a good way).

Iker spun around and took Lia from Carlota talking to her in his sweet baby-talk voice. Xavi looked on, feeling both sad and more in love with him than before. He wished that he could give Iker the family that he so desperately wanted, but he still thought it would not be fair to the child.

“Romantic and stupid,” Xavi finally retorted.

Carlota shook her head. “You’re stupid, Xavi.” She giggled, and brushed past him. “Here, you take Milan, so I can check on the groom. Well, one of them anyway.” She laughed again and knocked on the door to Cesc’s little room. “Brother! Your groom is getting anxious down the hall. What’s the hold up?”

The door opened instantly. Cesc looked ready to explode. “This ridiculous suit and this tie!” Cesc shouted, jerking his tie off of his neck and tossing it to the floor.

“Never could tie his own tie,” Iker muttered, laughing under his breath.

“Shut up, Iker!” Cesc whined.

“What? I’m just telling the truth. I always helped you tie your ties when we were together.”

Xavi glared at both of them. This was not a topic with which he was comfortable. “Can you help him, Carlota?” he asked, fearing his boyfriend would offer to do so.

Carlota retrieved his tie from the floor, and nodded to Xavi. “Get in there, Cesc. I’ll help you.” Carlota shoved her brother into the small room, and closed the door behind them.

“Papi,” Lia called out.

“Papi will be right out,” Iker assured her. He bounced her on his hip and softly sang her a little song in Catalan.

Xavi’s eyes widened. He never knew Iker to know any Catalan. “Where did you learn that?” Xavi recognized the song as a lullaby commonly sang to little ones by the moms.

“You don’t want to know,” Iker replied, still using the sing-song voice for the sake of little Lia who was almost drifting off to sleep.

Xavi made a face, and grumbled under his breath. “Probably sang it to Fabregas. Such a child.”

“For your information, he taught me, so I could sing it to our children,” Iker spat. Lia started to wail, but he quickly shushed her, and started to sing again.

Xavi gaped for a moment. He wasn’t often at a loss for words, never really, but he was stuck at that moment. He had spent a large amount of his time despising Cesc for the side of Iker that only he brought out, for the things he got to experience with Iker that he never would. Now, he felt foolish. Cesc was too good to feel bitterly towards. Xavi just started to speak when Carlota emerged from Cesc’s room.

“All ready!” she exclaimed.

Lia awoke immediately, and cried out. Cesc rushed out behind his sister, and took his crying daughter from Iker. “Oh, oh, mi amor… shh, shh…” Cesc rocked her, and bounced her whilst kissing her head, and telling her everything would be okay.

“Cesc, you really should give her to me, so you can get ready to be married,” Iker said, waving for him to hand over the baby. Carlota had taken care o the children for most of the day, but now she had a duty to be Cesc’s best woman in the ceremony.

“Yes! And hurry!” Carlota demanded. She was late meeting up with Gerard’s best man, his brother, Marc. “We’ve got to get this wedding started!”

***

“It was a really nice ceremony, Gerard. Congratulations,” Xavi said, hugging his teammate. “Well, congratulations on a nice wedding anyway. I’m not sure I should really congratulate you on your choice husband. You’re going to have your hands full with that once.

Gerard laughed. “Don’t talk like that about him on our wedding day.”

“You know it’s true.”

A smile lingered on Gerard’s face after the laughing faded. “I guess I do,” he muttered, scanning the crowd of post-wedding partiers for his husband’s face. He smiled when he spotted him standing near the dessert table, chatting with Iker.

“It was beautiful, Cesito. Really beautiful. Gerard is a lucky man.”

“Hey, you called him Gerard instead of Pique!” Cesc grinned and laughed.

“Well, he’s your husband now, so…” Iker shrugged. “I guess I owe him enough respect to call him by his first name.”

“Thank you, Iker. Thank you for coming and being supportive, and just… thank you for not leaving my life after we broke up. I would miss you so much.” Cesc wrapped his arms around Iker, and hugged him tightly. “You’re really the best.”

“You think so?”

“I _know_ so.”

“Really? You wanna tear up that marriage certificate, and walk the aisle with me then?”

“Iker!” Cesc laughed. “What would Xavi think?”

“Xavi would think that he had better be joking, or he’s going to have a foot up his ass.” Xavi approached behind Iker with a playful threatening look in his eye.

“Ew. I don’t need to hear about your weird kinks, Xav. Feet, really?! Gross.” Cesc made a face and pretended to vomit.

“Shut up, Cesc. It’s your wedding day. Your children are around here somewhere, and yet you still act like a child.”

“Better than an uptight jerk,” Cesc said, sticking his tongue out at Xavi.

“Okay, that’s enough,” Gerard said, pulling Cesc back and kissing his lips. “Let’s dance, husband.”

Cesc grinned. “Okay, husband.”

Gerard dragged Cesc to the middle of the dance floor, and started to dance something close to a salsa, but not quite.

Those two are enough to make you want to vomit,” Xavi muttered, watching them dance, stealing kisses now and then.

“They’re a wonderful couple, and adorable,” Iker argued.

“Oh, really? This coming from the guy that hates Gerard?” Xavi regarded his boyfriend with a skeptically raised eyebrow.

“I don’t hate him.” Iker watched the couple dance. They stared at each other like they never wanted to let go. However, they did just that when Carlota trotted onto the floor with Lia in her arms. There was a quick conversation and then Lia was shifted to Cesc’s arms, and the couple resumed dancing – a three-way dance with their little girl. Iker looked away when his eyes got a little misty. “I need a cerveza,” he muttered, leaving Xavi and walking to the open bar. He would give anything to look like Cesc and Gerard out there, anything to have what they have. Love, a family, happiness… He feared he might never get the opportunity waiting around for Xavi.

*Six Months Later*

The season had just ended. There were a few international games on the horizon, but as it was Iker (along with the rest of the Spanish footballers) had a good two weeks worth of vacation time. When Xavi announced his visit to Madrid, Iker wasn’t shocked in the slightest, but he nearly refused. He had been keeping a secret from the entire world, even Xavi. If Xavi came to Madrid, the secret would be revealed. He was unsure how Xavi would react.

Xavi held the handle of a rolling suitcase in one hand, and a bouquet of red carnations in the other when he rang the bell outside Iker’s house. Iker ran to the door. His hands were sweaty and shaking, but he couldn’t help smiling. Regardless of the ball of nerves bouncing around in his stomach, he was delighted to see his lover after a two month stretch without contact. The last time they had seen each other was after a clasico in early April. Real Madrid had one, and seeing Xavi after a loss was never really that pleasant. Since Barcelona had bested their last opponent in the league (despite losing the Liga title to their Madrid rivals), Iker expected his lover to be in a good mood.

Iker pulled open the door and immediately smiled wider at the sight of the flowers. He and Xavi had been vacationed in Andalucia over the Christmas break. A woman selling flowers in a cute little shop told them the meanings of the different colors. She explained that giving a bunch of red carnations was a way of saying, “my heart yearns for you.”

Iker took the flowers and his bag. He leaned in and kissed him softly on the lips. “My heart yearns for you too,” he whispered, backing into the house, so Xavi could come inside.

Xavi smiled and stepped inside, closing the front door behind him. “I smell food…”

Iker laughed. He had expected an “I love you” or “I missed you,” but he guessed the flowers said it all. “I made your favorite,” he said, pushing Xavi’s bag against the wall, and releasing his hold on the handle.

“You’re the best, Iker. I’m starving after the flight.”

“I knew you would be.” Iker grabbed his arm before he could walk off to the kitchen. “Don’t go just yet.”

Xavi grinned. “Oh, I’m sorry, amor.” He held his face and kissed him, softly, but deeper than their initial peck at the door. “I love you.”

“I love you too…”

Xavi tried again to walk off to the kitchen, but Iker caught his arm. Xavi chuckled. “You should have made something that didn’t smell so good if you wanted to trap me in the entryway and make out forever before you let me eat it.”

“It’s not that… Well, it is. I mean, no. I want to kiss you, you know that.” He smiled, and gently caressed his cheek. “There’s something I need to tell you before you go.” He dropped his hand away and stared at the floor. His hands trembled.

“What is it? Iker, is something wrong?” Xavi brought his hand to Iker’s cheek, and gently traced the line of his cheekbone with his thumb. “Are you okay?”

“I, yes… I’m okay. I just… I did something.”

Xavi’s mouth fell open. “What? What did you do?” He jerked his hand away and took a step back. “Did you sleep with someone else? Was it Ramos? I’ll kill him!”

“No, no! It wasn’t Ramos….”

“Who was it then?!”

“No, no! Xavi, please. I didn’t sleep with anyone. I would never do that to you! Why would you even say that?”

“Well, because you look like you’re going to vomit. You look so nervous or upset. It’s freaking me out. Just tell me what the hell is going on!”

“I… well, I don’t want you to be upset, because we agreed that we would…”

“PAPA! PAPA!” Suddenly a tiny ball of energy raced into the entryway waving his arms around.

Xavi jumped, startled by the intrusion. He stared at the little boy, confused, wondering who he belonged to. Iker’s brother, perhaps? Did he have a child? Xavi didn’t think so, but… “Who’s kid is that?” The little boy was running circles around Iker’s legs, shouting for his papa. Xavi wondered why the boy’s father didn’t come to retrieve him.

Iker scooped up the little boy from the floor. “Xavi, this is Martin,” Iker said, smiling at the little boy.

“Hello, Martin… Iker, who does this kid belong to?” Xavi suddenly got a feeling a dread deep in the pit of his stomach.

“Well… me. He belongs to me.”

Xavi felt like he’d had the wind knocked out of him. He opened his mouth to speak, but nothing seemed to come out, not a sound.

Luckily, another voice intruded upon them saving him from having to form words. “Oh, Iker! Martin, there you are! I’m sorry! He seems to get away from me now that he’s running all over the place!” Iker’s nanny, Maria, scurried to Iker, and took the baby. “You were supposed to give your papa some time to greet his guest,” she gently scolded.

“PAPA!” Martin repeated.

“I’ll be there in a minute, mijo,” Iker said, playing with his hand before Maria rushed off with him. The baby shouted Spanish gibberish baby talk all the way.

Xavi was still at a loss for words. A baby? On his own! Without even consulting him! How? Why? When?

“Xav… I… say something.”

“How?” It was the first of many questions that would finally leave his mind, so it could be answered.

“Adoption,” Iker answered simply.

The simple reply infuriated Xavi. Like it was so simple and easy.  Just go behind your lover’s back and adopt a child on your own when you had agreed to wait for the time to be right for both of you. “Why?” he growled.

Iker blanched at the anger in his voice, the betrayal painted all over his face. “I… I wanted a son, Xavi. I wanted a child. I told you that.”

“You also told me that we would wait!! We were waiting for the right time! For both of us! We were going to have a baby _together_!”

Iker took a step forward. “I want him to be _ours_ ,” he said, reaching out to touch Xavi’s face.

Xavi smacked his hand away. “Really? You want him to be ours, but you didn’t even ask me before you adopted him!? You didn’t include me in the adoption process… at all! But he’s ours?!”

“Xavi, please… I knew you wouldn’t want to do it. I knew you would say the time wasn’t right. But… I thought once you knew, once you met him, you would…”

“Just be okay with the fact that you went behind my back and adopted a child! Iker!”

“I… I love him, Xavi. He’s perfect. And… you’ll love him too. And…”

“And when will I see him? Hmm? I still live in Barcelona, remember?! When will I see this kid that you want to force on me? This is why I said we should wait for the right time! This is why you agreed with me!” Xavi brushed past him, grabbed his bag, and headed for the door. “I don’t know how you could be so irresponsible!” He hoped the door and started out, but Iker grabbed his arm.

“Xavi, don’t go. Just hear me out, please.”

“There’s nothing you can say that will make this okay.”

“I love you, Xavi.”

“Then how could you be so selfish?!” he shouted.

“Maybe I was, but… Xavi, don’t leave. Please, let’s talk about this.”

“No, I don’t want to talk about this! I don’t want to talk to you at all. Let go of me!” Xavi jerked his arm away and marched outside to his car. How could Iker do this to him?

Iker considered running after him, but he had known Xavi long enough to know that would get him nowhere. He would just get the same shouting outside on the lawn that he got inside.

Xavi left Iker’s house in a rage. He is almost shocked when he finds himself immediately driving to the other side of Madrid – to Villa’s house. It was no secret to anyone that he and Villa had been friends for a long time. It was secret to very few that they had been more than friends for a time as well. Villa knew him better than almost anyone, sometimes even better than Iker.

Villa answered the door after three rings. “Xavi… what are you doing here?”

“Nice to see you too,” Xavi grumbled, shoving past Villa into his house.

“Xavi, I have guests. Well, a guest.” Villa closed the door behind him, and followed his former lover and teammate as he walked toward Villa’s kitchen.

“Your little Canarian boyfriend?” Villa spat. “I don’t care. I need a drink.”

“Well, that’s great. Why don’t you go to your boyfriend’s house and get it?”

“Shut up, Villa.” Xavi barged into the kitchen and helped himself to some Scotch from the liquor cabinet.

“What is going on?” Villa demanded.

Silva walked in from the living room where they had been watching a film – or making out on the couch under the pretense of watching a film. “Who was it, David?” he asked. “Oh,” he mumbled when he caught side of Xavi throwing back a tumbler full of Scotch. “Hello, Xavi.”

Xavi waved with the Scotch bottle just before he began filling the tumbler again. Villa turned to Silva with an apologetic look. “I don’t know what’s going on, baby. Go back to the living room. I’ll be back as soon as I can,” he whispered, kissing his forehead. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. Take your time.” Silva offered a sweet smile to his boyfriend and a quiet goodbye to Xavi before he walked out of the room.

“Xavi, what the hell is going on?” Villa snatched the bottle before Xavi could grab it. “That’s enough for now. Tell me what’s going on.”

“Fucking Iker,” Xavi grumbled, swigging down what was left in his tumbler.

“What?”

“He fucking adopted a kid! Without me!”

“Yeah…”

Xavi’s eyes shot up, full of fire bordering on rage. “’Yeah’? Yeah, like you knew about this?”

“Well, yeah. He’s had the kid three months. He… well…”

Xavi lunged at him, grabbing him by the neck and shoving him against his refrigerator.  “How the fuck did you know?”

“He… he told me. Xavi, let go of me. Stop being a stupid asshole.”

“Shut up! You knew about this shit! You didn’t tell me!”

“He wanted to keep it hidden. He knows I know you as well, if not better than him! He asked how I thought you’d react. Let me tell you you’ve let me down! I never thought you would be such a dick.”

“What?” Xavi whirled away, grabbing the bottle that Villa had left sitting on the kitchen island. He swigged a little down before he raged on. “How am I supposed to act to this?”

“Happy that he wanted the two of you to start a family? He had this adoption thing in the works for years. When they finally called, he didn’t know if he should accept, but how could he not? They finally had a baby boy for him. He knew the two of you wanted a family! Why are you here yelling at me and drinking all my Scotch? You should be talking to him, getting to know your new son!”

“He’s had this kid for three months! It’s his kid! It’s not mine!”

“Shut up, Xav. It’s yours too. He wants to have a family with you. He wants that more than anything. He had to wait for the end of the season to tell you, he said. He didn’t want to throw your game off, mess things up. The baby turned his life upside down.”

“How fucking much did you talk to my boyfriend about our child and our life?” Xavi brought the bottle to his lips, but Villa snatched it away and shoved him backward.

“Knock it off! He did all of this for the two of you! He wants to start a family with you. Everything else is irrelevant. He wants… fuck this. You need to go back to his house and talk this over with him.”

“No. If you don’t want me here, I’ll go somewhere else, but I’m not talking to that asshole.”

“You’re really stupid. So what if it’s not conventional, if it’s not the way you imagined it. It’s how it happened. He didn’t plan for it to happen like that, but what was he going to say when someone called to say he had a baby waiting for him? It would have been selfish to…”

“It’s selfish to have the kid! We can’t be a family to it! We don’t live near each other!”

“He… Xavi…” David rubbed his eyes. “You need to talk to him. Let me take you to his place. You don’t need to drive with all that Scotch in your system.”

“I can’t talk to him,” Xavi said. He didn’t shout. It was as if some of the fight had gone out of him. Somewhere deep inside himself he knew Villa was right, but he still felt betrayed.

“You can and you will. We’ll buy you a coffee along the way to clear your head, and you’ll talk to him. Let him explain things to you. See the baby…”

Xavi stared at the floor. “Three months he’s had that baby… and he never said a word.”

“It wasn’t easy for him either, but he thought it was for the best. He loves you, Iker. You know I wouldn’t say any of this if I didn’t _really_ believeit.”

“Would you have done this to me?” Xavi muttered.

Villa remained silent for a moment. “No,” he replied.

“See!”

“I wouldn’t have, because… I didn’t love you enough. I didn’t love you as much as he does. I… I have children already and… I always wanted to share their life with… David.”

Xavi would have been hurt by that if he hadn’t figured it out years ago. He found the phrasing that Villa used interesting however. ‘I didn’t love you enough.’ ‘I didn’t love you as much as he does.’ Was he right? Could all of this really be coming from a place of love? Xavi sighed deeply and slumped into a chair at Villa’s kitchen table.

Villa walked to him, and rubbed his back gently.  “You know I’m right… I’m always right.”

“You always thought you were.”

Villa chuckled softly. “And you never let me be.”

“He really loves me, doesn’t he?”

“Of course he does.” Villa pressed a kiss to the top of his head. “Let me take you to him, Xav.”

Iker was sitting in his living room with Martin on his lap. He was so upset that he was nearly in tears after Xavi left. He knew what he was doing might upset Xavi, but he really thought he was doing what was best. He had been shocked to get the call from the adoption agency. He had nearly given up hope. It had been years since he submitted an adoption application. He had been told it sometimes took a while to actually get a child, but after so many years it seemed like a lost cause. When they called, he had been filled with joy, fear, confusion… so many emotions. He knew he had to take the baby. No matter what, that little boy was there waiting for a father. He wanted to tell Xavi, to explain everything, to involve him, but the baby had shaken up his life. He couldn’t do that to Xavi. He didn’t want to throw this at him mid-season. Now ruining his season seemed to be such a stupid reason to keep things from him.

He rocked Martin on his lap, whispering to him until the baby dozed off to sleep. Maria took him a moment later and carried him up to his crib. Iker was left alone in the living room – left alone to think about all that he had done, all the mistakes, all the stupid…

Iker jumped when the doorbell rang. Could it be Xavi? Would he come back? He was so stubborn. It couldn’t be him. He stood up from the couch, and trudged to the door. He was shocked to find Villa standing there with Xavi.

“This idiot came to my house. He had a bit to drink. I bought him a coffee, but he’s still a little buzzed.”

Iker frowned. “Thank you for bringing him here.”

“I wouldn’t thank me. He’s an idiot.” Villa shoved Xavi. “Get in there. Talk to your man. Stop being stupid.”

Iker half-smiled. “Thanks, Villa. I’ll take it from here.” He grabbed Xavi and pulled him into the house. “Can I… is there anything I can get you, to thank you? Something to drink or…?”

“Oh, no. You two need to talk, and I have a boyfriend waiting for me at home.”

Iker smiled. “Tell Silva I say hi,” he said, closing the door as Villa started off down the walkway. Villa called back something that Iker could barely here. It was irrelevant anyway. “Do you… want some coffee?”

“No. I’m not drunk. Villa is an idiot.”

“Why did you go to Villa?”

“He’s my best friend. He lives close.”

“Did he tell you that I spoke to him?”

Xavi nodded. “He told me a lot of things. He told me about the baby. You’ve had that baby for months, Iker.”

“Only three.”

“Three months that I wasn’t with him. Three months that he got to know you, but not me. You want me to be a part of his life, but you keep him from me for three months.”

“He’s a baby, Xabi. He’s only nine months. He can barely walk or talk. You have plenty of time to get to know him. I… want us all to spend the summer together. Every day.”

“He can say papa. He calls you papa.”

“Well, he was going to call one of us that, Xav. No matter what, one of us would be papa while the other was something else.”

“Iker, please, you have to understand why this upsets me. Don’t you?”

“Of course.” Iker looked at the floor. “Of  course, I do, but… I’m sorry. I thought it was for the best at the time. I never thought this would happen. I never thought I would get him like that. I want us to be a family, Xavier.”

Xavi walked to him, and slid his arms around him. He rested his head on his chest. “I want that too, but I just feel like I’ve been shut out of the family. You kept this from me.”

“And that killed me. I wanted to tell you. I wanted you to share things with me, but it was a lot. You were already having a rough time with your club. I didn’t want this to add to your stress.”

“Because you know it wasn’t what I wanted. I didn’t want it at this time.”

“I know, but I couldn’t help the timing.”

“I… I know, but that doesn’t change it. We still don’t live together. And we’re not ready for retirement.”

“I am…”

“No, you’re not. You’re only thrity-three.”

“After the next season, I’ll be thirty-four. My hand hasn’t been the same since I injured it a couple of years back. My back is messed up. One more season and I’m retiring from club football. I’ll stay with the national team, but I can’t do the club anymore. One season. That’s all I’m asking. We just make things work for one season. I can come to Barcelona. You can come here.”

“And you’ll keep the baby the whole time, bringing him to see me.”

“Or you can keep him. I want him to be ours, not mine.”

“Iker… are you sure about this? As much as I hate the club, Real Madrid is your life. It is everything to you. Are you sure you want to leave it?”

“I’ve been speaking a lot with my doctor, Xavi. He says I really have to. I can’t play as much as I used to. One season is all I have now. Then I’ll live with you in Barcelona. When you finally retire, we can live wherever we want.”

Xavi sighed. He felt so sorry for Iker. The injuries, the pain – he had kept all of that from him as well. “I love you so much, Iker.”

“I love you too, Xav.” Iker leaned in and kissed his lips. “Please just tell me this can work. Tell me we can make this work and be a family.”

“Of course we can.” He hugged him tightly. “We’ll make it work somehow.”

Iker pushed him back just enough to kiss him. He held his face with both hands and kissed him hard. When they finally separated, Xavi had a wide smile on his face. “Can I see our boy now?”

Iker grinned and nodded. “I know he’ll want to meet you, but he’s asleep right now. I love to watch him sleep. Do you want to come see him? He looks so beautiful when he sleeps.”

“He looked beautiful earlier. Oh, Iker, I’m so sorry I ran out on you. I’m sorry I ran out on both of you.”

“Forget that.” Iker kissed his lips softly. “Let’s go see our baby.”

Maria suddenly appeared in the entryway again. Martin was in her arms. “The moment I put him down, he opened his little eyes. I tried to get him back to sleep, but he wide awake. I’m sorry.”

Iker shook his head, and took Martin from his arms. “That’s okay. He needs to meet his daddy anyway.” He hugged him close. “Martin, this is your other daddy. We’re going to be one big happy family.”

**Author's Note:**

> I would love to know what you all think of this. Thanks for reading! x


End file.
